Spring Cleaning, St. Patrick's and the Best of Jokes sent to MW  Best Movie Rentals  CyberBullying

Although Easter is well upon us, I am Irish and the fighting and passion comes naturally!  We will make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday.  I am working fervently on it now.  In this edition I will try to share the best of the e-mail jokes I get.  I keep the classics!  See bottom of news letter.

A few drops of green dye in lemonade, beer, you name it-does wonders! 

Regarding my schedule, I am very busy and in the middle of filming for the Bathroom Chemist, Part II.  Subsequently, this newsletter is not content rich with formulas, recipes and so on.  I will be able to get back to a normal schedule April 1st and with any luck have a decent Easter issue out.  So in this issue, I share the best of what I am exposed too, that keeps me sane!  [Since Easter is so close, here is last years! 2008, or Search all Years.]

If you want to hit projects, as I am also doing you can go to these links:

Archives   Best of Mabel White Pick a Project  Spring Clean!

My schedule will re-open after April 5th, 2009.  Hugs!  Until then, official music video of Slightly Stoopid!  AWESOME!

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Great New Movie Rentals: 

Ghost Town, not what it sounds like and really well done, The Family that Preys, one of Tyler Perry's more touching and uplifting films-featuring Sanaa Lathan and Kathy Bates.

WAR, Inc., with both John and Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hillary Duff, Dan Aykroyd,  is hysterically well done.  Cameo's shots of Kidd Rock, Donald Trump-and endless other icons is a real treasure.  Step Brothers is a given with Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. Definite profanity for that as well as War, Inc. but funny as all get out and both well done.

Any movie rentals to add to our monthly list write us!  mabelwhite@att.net

Great Books to Read for this Economy

The next book I plan to read is I'll Gather My Geese.  by Hallie Crawford Stillwell .  It came highly recommended by an industrious woman in Houston who is retired as an IBM corporate exec.  I have always like stories of "real" industrious people and in hard times-people become more industrious or learn how to be.  This is not a bad thing.  Real life transition and experiences are really important right now.  We WILL add more of these type.  Although not a book-I re-watch "Baby Boomer" with Diane Keaton almost every year.  THAT whole story feels like my life.  Leaving "corporate" food chain to just go "make stuff" and succeed at doing so.  And the Bible is always a good one!

Any good books to add to our monthly list that pertain to industrious people, and how they fought all odds--write us! mabelwhite@att.net

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Best of the e-Mail Jokes Sent to MW

For Those Iced in Click here :) Funny short video

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Dan Reynolds is one of the most talented Cartoonist I know.  [Do not attempt to copy his work]. 

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This one has to be from a Texan!  [Really sent from Tennessee.]

1.  An armed man is a citizen.  An unarmed man is a subject. 
2.  A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. 20 Colt:  The original point and click interface.
4.  Gun control is not about guns; it's about control. 
5.  If guns are outlawed, can we use swords? 
6.  If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words. 
7.  Free men do not ask permission to bear arms. 
8.  If you don't know your rights, you don't have any. 
9.  Those who trade liberty for security have neither. 
10.  The  United States  Constitution (c) 1791.  All Rights  Reserved. 
11.  What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand? 
12.  The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the
13.  64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday. 
14.  Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.        
15.  Know guns, know peace, know safety.  No guns, no peace, no safety. 
16.  You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive. 
17.  911:  Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer. 
18.  Assault is a behavior, not a device. 
19.  Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer. 
20.  If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson. 
21.  Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control  them. 
22.  You have only the rights you are willing to fight for. 
23.  Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more. 
24.  When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create  slaves. 
25.  The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control. 

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A Model Consumer Complaint Letter to  Bank

This 86-year old lady's letter is an actual letter that  was sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published:

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which  I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my  calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. 

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.  I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, but when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must  nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee  to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the liabilities must be accompanied  by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:



 #1. To make an appointment to see me.

 #2. To query a missing payment.

 # 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am  there.

 # 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am  sleeping

 # 5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am  attending to nature.

 # 6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home

 #7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access  my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

# 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

# 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

# 10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

 While this may, on occasion,  involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

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The DAMN Beaver Story was such a classic and warranted its own page.  It had to do with a zoning dispute type governmental issue.  Click here for that A Mom's Resume was also a CLASSIC and you CAN use this as a template for any future interviews!

One good reason to fly first class!!!  Courtesy of Delta Airlines

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My Civil Action in Federal Court: What You Say is NOT Anonymous and can hurt Adults and Kids

I wondered why after ten years on the internet I suddenly get a sick and twisted cyber stalker-[actually a little bent family & buddies, in Florida] who I am suing in Federal Court as of December 22, 2008.   The answer is an bad economy and sheer jealousy and hatred for any female that may appear to be successful, and my trade names far more attractive to key word.  They did this RIGHT when my season hit in September of 2008 and I was not aware for awhile.  They thought they were anonymous-as many people do who write garbage. 

Do not worry I am sitting on their heads in court and do not even click anything obscene with my name because it helps give them rank and web position.  Plus I get to see who is trying to search and I will block their IP-but good.  This clan has some new DYI type thing is why they were using my strong trade name(s) in their key words, and then saying alarming things to ensure a visit to their terrorist cell group, now made to look more "wholesome." 

All initial postings were collected by my forensics team-so they can change their hate site all they want, I am far from slack.  After I served them on Christmas Eve and New Years Eve [to establish I was not playing around.]  And AFTER they were served they called my family in nearby Sarasota, and said they were "investigators" [as if law enforcement] and insinuated my late husband may not have died of cancer.   Meaning I may have had a part.  This defies sick and disturbed my kids very deeply-until it made sense someone was just trying to hurt us all.   When I heard about contact to my family I ceased any offers they were at the same time trying to give me to end my court action-and right then I pretty much committed to take it all the way to Jury.  WTF?  They pay me off and then just continue to hurt other people? Money is not everything.  Setting example and precedent at times is first priority-for all of those who cannot.

And do not reply to try to defend me or e-mail them.  If you want to be of any help-Blog in nice forums whatever you feel I have done to help you over the years and make sure you use my trade name.  Few people have time to leave good comments-and e-mailing me is not really proof of who created a fab review, if I am posting it. 

No, I do not personally know this person, or family, and they never bought squat from me, nor the tons of "made up" stories of recent they are putting on the net pretending to be customers-[post Federal suit,] so that means to me they are really nuts and not even scared of a court-they will be shortly, they just violated a few major Federal court orders.  Anything they have said is not true and fabricated-except they do spell my name perfectly [personal and as an author]-no one else does!  Figures.  They refer to a year 2000 article that was not true-that was talking about something from 18 years ago, that was not how things went...and that is not proof of anything.

I have like 10Mil subscribers so any Mabel person who even had time to surf and see that crap has done anything but ask me if I am OK?  Yes.  And I am busy doing cool things-although I did just also go through a hurtful separation with a loved one and had to file Personal BK-for almost a mil in un-insured medical debts, at the same time this came about last quarter 2008.  I was very sick in 2006 and obvious my real estate holdings dumped and I could never pay the medical.  Of course now that is the "breaking news" at the terrorist cell group. 

Regarding my cyberstalker-in this economy there will be highly jealous people coming out of the wood work and another reason I had to open a legal can of whoop ass on them and set example.  I spent 17 years in law helping people-this clan highly underestimated their opponent.  Anyway, I prayed about it-[the turn the other cheek deal] I was told to "take them down" and they had done this to other people [and I found they HAD.]   Previous women they were hurting were deleted and relieved of YEARS of this, after I sued. Obvious my opponents lawyer did not need to show stalking of former women was the only reason why-NOT because they had a loving moment.  And I was reminded Satan WILL pay more attention to you WHEN you do God's work.  I forgot about that basic rule when I retired from law and hung my hat.  Now I help in a different major way-so, I need to insulate myself better-AND whip out my "glue gun!"

I talked with the former victims.  They were candid they did not know what to do, nor had the money to do much.  Needless to say I have to address this with my readers without giving my cyberstalker(s) any "fame."  I can also say I am going to be a HUGE supporter of Cyber Bullying and donating to that cause.  Our youth do not have the coping skills and "off" themselves over stuff like this.  I am 46 and felt like it-when I saw it.  For now, the main thing, is do not allow your kids to get so engrossed in the net or chat rooms-their esteem is only connected with what other kids may say.  This is what I found in my research and so MOVING-and I sure can relate!  They remind me of this commercial:

and this is just a FEW who were impacted by Cyber Bullying:  Watch this IMPORTANT!


To be a Christian does not mean you have to take crap from anyone.  Respect and stand up for your own self in all matters that affect you.  Keep your kids off the net when they are to such a point they engrossed in chats all of the time!

Thanks to all who helped create a "War Chest" against cybersalking!

END OF SUBJECT.  Let's Make Something Cool!!!!!!!!  :)

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The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...
 Noah was a drunk
 Abraham was too old
 Isaac was a daydreamer
 Jacob was a liar
 Leah was ugly
 Joseph was abused
 Moses had a stuttering problem
 Gideon was afraid 
 Deborah had to do a job no men would do
 Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
 Rahab was a prostitute
 Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
 David had an affair and was a murderer
 Elijah was suicidal
 Isaiah preached naked
 Jonah ran from God
 Naomi was a widow
 Job went bankrupt
 John the Baptist ate bugs
 Peter denied Christ
 The Disciples fell asleep while praying
 Martha worried about everything
 Ruth, a peasant worked her future rich husbands fields  
 The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
 Zaccheus was too small
 Paul was too religious
 Timothy had an ulcer...

 Lazarus was dead!
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How to say 'I love you' in 22 languages.....

I Love You

Te Amo

Je T'aime

lch Liebe Dich

Ai Shite Imasu

Ti Amo

Wo Ai Ni

Jag Alskar

Alabama, Arkansas,Oklahoma,
Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina,
Georgia, Tennessee, Mississippi,
Louisiana, Virginia, West Virginia
Kentucky, & parts of Florida

Nice Ass, Get in the truck

How to say 'I love you' in 22 languages.....

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Most persuasive e-mail I got to forward from my BFF [or else....]


    If you delete it - you will beg! - seeing is believing    


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Read about Ringo a dog flown in from Katrina.  Official Bio of his owner and short Bio RSS Syndicated Feeds on the environment.  How Twitter is best used.  Deborah Dolen Books on Amazon.   Review of her books on Open Library,  Paperback Swap, Good Reads and ReviewScout.  You can also read Google Profile.    Deborah Dolen on MySpace Facebook, and Flickr.  This is our favorite blogspot.   See Deborah Dolen on YouTube and her last book written London Apothecary and book.  For more environmental articles on water and oil.


Visit Deborah on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/deborah.dolen MySpace   http://www.myspace.com/deborah_dolen Twitter http://twitter.com/DeborahDolen or BlogSpot http://deborahdolen.blogspot.com/   Buy Natural Liquid Soap!  It is much safer than commercial brands.  Natural Liquid Soap for People or Natural Liquid Soap for pets.